


Anger and Grief

by Mischel



Series: Supernatural s13 Codas [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s13e04 The Big Empty, Gen, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Season/Series 13, and mia sees that, coda fanfic, dean is angry and sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 04:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12623100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mischel/pseuds/Mischel
Summary: Dean is angry. Mia can see that. But although a lot of that is because of Mary, not all of it is. There's something Dean isn't saying. Someone else that he's lost recently - Jack's father.





	Anger and Grief

**Author's Note:**

> Usually, I write everything that I want for the episode and then put it all into one longer coda fanfic. But it's late and I'm exhausted (mostly because of NaNoWriMo ha), so I decided to post this little coda first. And tomorrow I'll hopefully have time to write more :)
> 
> I really LOVED this episode. And although we've had a plenty of Cas grief in eps 01-03 and I'm really happy that they mentioned Mary in this ep (poor Sammy :'( ), I just miss it when they don't talk about Cas, so here you go. I hope you'll like it! :)

Dean brings the flask to his lips and takes a big sip, knowing well that this isn't the best way to deal, but doing it anyway. He's been doing that for too many years to stop now. But apparently, the shrink disagrees because when he looks at her, her eyes are on the flask in his hands and she smirks.

 

“Problem?” Dean asks.

 

“You just upset your brother so much he had to leave the room,” she simply answers, looking at him as if he didn't know that Sam wasn't there. “And Jack? Look at him.”

 

Dean does.

 

“He's terrified of you,” Mia says.

 

“Nah,” Dean dismisses her quickly. “No, we're simpatico. Right, kid?”

 

“We're simpatico,” Jack repeats flatly. Dean fights the urge to roll his eyes and smiles at the doc as if everything's alright.

 

“Convincing,” she says. This time, Dean does roll his eyes. “You're angry, Dean.” Alright, here we go, she won't stop.

 

“And?”

 

“And if you don't want to do anything about it, that's your business.” Damn right it is. “But you're aiming it at everyone in your life.” Alright, okay. “So maybe you should think about that next time you upset your brother. Dealing with the loss of your mother can be very hard, I understand that-”

 

“Alright lady, let me tell you something, okay?” Dean straightens up in the couch and leans forward. “You don't understand squat. Mom's dead, and I know that. I'm not trying to bring her back like Sam is. As I said, mom was great. But now she's dead. And I wish she wasn't, but I spent my entire life without her. And losing her again? I could have expected that to happen one way or another. Nothing good ever lasts!”

 

He doesn't realize he was yelling at her until he's finished. But now he feels like maybe he said too much. Revealed too much. But in the end, what does it matter? They won't meet Mia again anyway.

 

“Is this about something else too?” She squints her eyes and leans forward just like he did.

 

That question takes Dean aback.

 

“Is there something you don't want to talk about? For example how much you want everyone to know that you're okay with your mother's death, but you don't look like you are at all? Or did you also lose someone else?” Bingo. Mia sure is one hell of a shrink.

 

“Castiel,” Jack mumbles.

 

Both Dean and Mia turn to him. Mia with a question written all over her face, Dean with a threatening frown.

 

“Castiel?” Mia asks, glancing at Dean, but staying focused on Jack.

 

“My father,” Jack answers and Dean has to roll his eyes again. This is ridiculous. What are they doing at a family therapy anyway? They should have gone here years ago, now it's too late.

 

“Yeah, alright,” Dean interrupts them before Mia can answer. “Cas was Jack's sort-of-father even though he never met him, he was my best friend, and Jack here and I are not actually related at all. Happy?” He looks at Mia and then meaningfully at Jack, who only blinks at him.

 

“So you lost both your mother and your best friend?” Mia turns to Dean again. “How long have you known him?”

 

“Almost a decade,” Dean sighs. Why is he even talking to her anyway? This is pointless.

 

“And I imagine you've been through a lot together.” With every word she utters, Dean feels sadder and that makes him angrier. He just wishes she'd shut up already. Why did the kid even have to bring up Cas? He's dead too. And there's nothing they can do about that.

 

“I see, so now you want me to talk about him. Alright,” he chuckles humorlessly. “He saved my life, I saved his, he betrayed us, then came back and saved us again, and even though he's died a couple times already, now he's dead for real. End of story.”

 

The sorrow trapped underneath the anger inside him is threatening to show on the outside. He doesn't know how much longer this attitude can hold.

 

Mia is silent for a moment. “Now I can understand why you're so upset.” She smirks at him. She fucking smirks. What is that supposed to mean?

 

Of course, that is the moment Sam chooses to run into the room with a gun in his hand.

 

And Dean's way too happy to grab his own gun and point it at someone. Because that anger is always better than his grief.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> (Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language.)


End file.
